How many times now have the Farrelly brothers lectured us about how much better handicapped people are than the rest of us?

“There’s Something About Mary”, “Stuck on You”, and now, “The Ringer”.

I feel like I’m in that episode of “The Facts of Life” in which they beat us over the head with that deaf comedienne to show us how funny she was.

The thing was, SHE SUCKED!!

Take Randy Newman as an example. This man is an asshole. When he wrote the song “Short People” it pissed everyone off. Way to go Randy!! The song doesn’t have a bridge in middle in which the short people suddenly rescue a baby from a burning building, and Randy doesn’t have an epiphany at the end in which he wishes he was short. It’s a funny song, written tongue in cheek and any short people with a sense of humour got it.

You’d have to be retarded to not get it.

Oooops.

Herein lays the problem with “The Ringer”.

I’ve already seen this sermon Padre.

Johnny Knoxville plays the uber nice guy who can’t bring himself to fire an immigrant janitor and so he hires him to mow the lawn at his apartment. When the moron cuts all of his fingers off a few days later, Johnny’s scum bag uncle makes a huge bet on the Special Olympics and enters him in the race so that he can pay for the operation to reattach the digits.

It would have been funny if the guys from South Park had written it, but alas, it was produced by the holier than thou brothers named Farrelly.

When the boys you used to hate you date,
I guess you best investigate
the facts of life
you gotta get’em right
the facts of life,
the facts of life,

Johnny (calling himself Jeffy Dahmer) falls in love with Lynn Sheridan (the hot Special Olympics volunteer) who has the asshole fiancé who is cheating on her behind her back.

Wow… I didn’t see THAT coming.

Maybe they could change the movie’s title to “There’s Something About those Old School Wedding Crashers who are Stuck On the Ringer”?!!

As usual in these movies the greasy scumbag character has no redeeming qualities and walks around calling the mentally handicapped characters “tards” but the audience learns that it’s the normal people who could learn something from the handicapped characters if they’d only open their eyes!!

You take the good, you take the bad,
you take them both and there you have
The Facts of Life, the Facts of Life.

If I want to be lectured then I’ll leave the toilet seat up at home. I want to see some comedy dammit.  Show me something funny!!

Well, someone gets hit in the face with a volleyball. Um, someone gets hit in the goin with a water balloon?

Oh wait. I got it!!

The “tards” swear.

Oh my, sniff. There’s nothing funnier than when a tard says “Jesus Christ”.

I love it when gimps and tards condemn themselves to eternal damnation by taking the Lord’s name in vain.

Now THAT’S comedy people!!

If you arrived in a short bus and have your mittens pinned to your sweater you might find this funny.

For anyone with 2 lobes of their brain working though you’ll only find this amusing if you watch it while stoned.