Remember when finding an animated movie used to be like looking for a nice picnic spot in Israel’s West Bank?

You could find one, but you had to look really hard and if you tried to find it again the next week, it would probably be gone.

Animated movies were something to be treasured. You had to savor them.

They were like that last salted potato chip before your wife put you on a bean sprout diet for the next 2 years.

They never made money and telling someone that you were an animator was slightly less respectful than being a mime in a strip club.

Today an animated movie takes 2 frat boys with a Mac three weeks to crank out, and as long as it has a pinecone farting in it you’ll make more money than Exxon.

I still don’t understand why the producers insist on hiring a truck load of minor actors to do the voice work though. Was there anyone sitting in the fence about seeing this film, but then you changed your mind because you found out that Fred Willard was voicing the character of the dad? How big is the Catherine O’Hara fan club anyway? Are the 56 people in Scarborough who actually find her funny going to make or break this film?

Here’s an idea.

Hire some high school drama teachers and let THEM do the voice overs. It would cost you a pizza, a case of beer and 300 bucks a day (in other words, one tenth of what you paid Jon Heder for the 6 lines of dialogue he had in this movie).

If you’ve grown tired of films that show how predators and prey can all live together in harmony in the sea, or the jungle, or in prehistoric times then rejoice!!

This movie has nothing to say to your kids except “BOO!!”

You can bring little Johnny to see this but if he’s under 10 years old then you’d better warm up a spot for him in the bed next to you when the house creaks at 3 am.

This movie is about a house that eats people and the only people who know the truth are 3 pre-teens who live across the street and they have to figure out how to stop the beast before Halloween arrives the next day.

Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you if you insist on dragging your toddler to see this. The only animal that is in this film doesn’t talk and it gets eaten by the house.

For the rest of us though, this movie is highly entertaining and pretty freaking violent.

It’s not quite up there with Heavy Metal, but I’d say that this is the closest thing anyone has come to making an animated movie for adults in 20 years.

Ah what the hell… bring your daughter and if she whines about making her bed the next day, tell her that you’re going to put barbeque sauce on her head and send her into the basement.